Thursday, June 5, 2014
Well, this is it.
People born 1960, 1970, 1975 .. not for me. I'm been waiting for something to click in the world. Besides, you think it's because kids ^need it^.
So, here it is.
Ellen is encouraged to look perfect racially. I am not. Why does she think I can come out and smile? I don't even look pretty.
If you think Jews can't feel something when they're white, what the Hell do you think of blacks? Is this just gonna ruin my life? If I'm ^better^ than Ellen, then I was better, like everyone else??
If you think Jews can't feel something when they're white, what the Hell do you think of blacks? Is this just gonna ruin my life? If I'm ^better^ than Ellen, then I was better, like everyone else??
Question
I found a popular song I like "It's Always a Good Time" and the 2 lead singers sound Oriental in a submissive way. I was playing around with 1 singer with Ellen. I don't like her negative messages surrounding me. She even lies and takes back what she said it meant, like that someone else would do it but that she did it. I don't believe the meaning of that. Let's hope .. I dunno I mean if she does this then she does this. I thought she was an attractive person on TV. This doesn't make sense. It does, but then again it sounds like an inevitable flaw rather than a simple coverup. They sound like it really happens. I have more to say. People think I'm famous, but no one has commented on my blog. I think famous people get it another way. Let me just lay out the card table. It does worry me that it may make me m*********. Ellen seems to take care of that. I see that Ellen was treated nicer racially, and there's a big point of mine. I feel uncomfortable, and I am not made out of something that is just shit. I am a real person, just as I had indicated afore. Well, what I wanted to say was yes it sounds nasty. I am concerned about Carly's popularity. I don't know what that did for the other people exactly, per se.
Problem
Ellen thinks if I have any attitude as in personality that she can do stuff like change institutions around me, they'll do anything. I'm sitting alone in a quiet room, and this Martian won't go away. Also, the President visited a college I cannot step foot in. Ellen acts like she cares, but she did it. She thinks I should know that.
Some Issue
A place I'm working with a reputable name just changed cuz it was not thee thing. I was wondering if Ellen coordinates this stuff and gets told I'm shit. I had a reason for posting this. So, when I wear the shirt, I don't wear the name. They just changed the name of the mental hospital, too. It used to be named like the 1 in New Orleans. I know she has a racist block in these things she does. I really liked Ellen, like most people. This is a disgrace, making me feel super guilty for a feeling I had a poor yet hungry attitude. She just brushes over this, like it didn't happen. But the thing is I feel like I'm being rejected and not just ignored. She's too nice, but this issue got me confused. I'm sure people are reveling in this. I feel I'm in a fight saying maybe it mattered.
My Turn?!
When will life come round for me again? It came round for Ellen when she got blonde hair. She can wear anything, like with nothing on it, and still look good.
Do you see't?
A spoiled brat teen can be the star, and the older people are more qualified stars but are there as servents.
Wha??
If Ellen believes us young adults are too old to act like teenagers, then I'd just say she acts like 1. I'm serious. I know I'm saying the right kinda thing. Like, she goes on stage, but someone who's 28 doesn't belong? I've been an entertaining person.
Problem
They got so mad I was listening to "It's Always a Good Time." I thought they had all the kids and it made it sound good and they thought there was something I didn't know. I don't need to mechanize all my thoughts over like a ghost and repeat I would like to hear some ^kids^ by themselves. People are being nasty to me because of Ellen. I tried to be an actor since I got flunked outta college at 21. Even before, I was still studying performance. I never made it. I thought all this time alone made me better.
Wrong
You can't assume some Late Boom Generation Z I'm better than you you can't feel what you want attitude. They don't do that like that in New Orleans.
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
IMDb - The Soapbox
My Undeserving Treatise
You might wonder what it would be like for a person to be born in Florida and live somewhere else, like, as a teen..well, you got it!!
I am from the "safe" areas of Florida, the "normal" places, like NYC. That means all Southeastern and Northeastern Florida..
I moved to the best place by New Orleans.
I moved back to Florida but to a big city, Orlando. I just found I had my dad's mom's parents going to Orlando when my dad was little and maybe before, to catch fish.
--
My dad's family lived all around Pennsylvania. Some are from New York state. They have PA Dutch Amish blood.
--
My life was not perfect. I did learn in my environments and am better off than most.
I found that New Orleans, I was longing for the beach. At the beach, I longed for the hills and farmland. I was so sick for the beach, I believe that's why the wind of Katrina helped finish blowing us all to that locale. It is like a sickness, sickliness, like a type of dying. I found I didn't care so much of Florida being the South, like Key West especially, unless I also was involved in New Orleans since I lived there for years. I feel a deep sense of pain not living on the beach, like Reese Witherspoon and being born in New Orleans and moving to Germany and Tennessee.
What else? There's nothing very happy about the experience when you feel you've done something wrong with your life. I can see differences, though.
I think about this stuff a lot. I miss New Orleans and being able to be in like Miami and that region.. It's hard to think of what to say.
The worst thing is it's not what makes me, but Florida instills in you a certain feeling that I knew I could never get back again, and it's what I connected to, more of a reverence for pop culture.
~ * ~
Also, New Orleans is dear to me cuz it's so magical. The place is okay itself. It teaches me to let lose and enjoy what life I have. I mean, life is too short. It fixed me physically, I felt. Going up north put me in step with the world. There was something missing even though I am from Florida. Also, I was skinny until we moved. I felt things were still okay, but the truth was I was gaining weight and not improving in my piano studies. New Orleans is even more important than Florida in a way. Florida is still there. It taught me things personally. It's just different feelings you can't describe easily. Like, it's not about being a ghost on a beach but a real person behind a fence of flowers. Up north helped more than either 2, but I needed the grounding I had. Up north was like magic, literally. Like, world was always on the beat and positive about life and being alive if you are. I felt so much force around me. New Orleans was more pressure. There were complicated ideas. Like, I'd go to the gym, and it felt like a beat hype. It wasn't like hot. It was cool. The grocery store seemed like a factory or tree with different products to change you into something you want to be.. Walking outside with lamp posts and little quaint shops, some places with foods. I was in a college, too, with a conservatory of music. I even feel the need to go back. I have a need to be here, as well. Same as New Orleans. It's like a family. I fantasized up north while walking until it was too much for school and I got sent home. I even got "sick." I thought I was dying and imagining living demons around me. It wasn't painful like life and was more entertaining and emotional. I wanna act and make money so I can go to college and goof off. I do wanna do well. I just want money to buy toys, a house nearby..
I do miss New Orleans still. It is a smart place that works hard to make the world mean something.
~ * ~
just an animal watching time go by under a silly summer sun
I am from the "safe" areas of Florida, the "normal" places, like NYC. That means all Southeastern and Northeastern Florida..
I moved to the best place by New Orleans.
I moved back to Florida but to a big city, Orlando. I just found I had my dad's mom's parents going to Orlando when my dad was little and maybe before, to catch fish.
--
My dad's family lived all around Pennsylvania. Some are from New York state. They have PA Dutch Amish blood.
--
My life was not perfect. I did learn in my environments and am better off than most.
I found that New Orleans, I was longing for the beach. At the beach, I longed for the hills and farmland. I was so sick for the beach, I believe that's why the wind of Katrina helped finish blowing us all to that locale. It is like a sickness, sickliness, like a type of dying. I found I didn't care so much of Florida being the South, like Key West especially, unless I also was involved in New Orleans since I lived there for years. I feel a deep sense of pain not living on the beach, like Reese Witherspoon and being born in New Orleans and moving to Germany and Tennessee.
What else? There's nothing very happy about the experience when you feel you've done something wrong with your life. I can see differences, though.
I think about this stuff a lot. I miss New Orleans and being able to be in like Miami and that region.. It's hard to think of what to say.
The worst thing is it's not what makes me, but Florida instills in you a certain feeling that I knew I could never get back again, and it's what I connected to, more of a reverence for pop culture.
~ * ~
Also, New Orleans is dear to me cuz it's so magical. The place is okay itself. It teaches me to let lose and enjoy what life I have. I mean, life is too short. It fixed me physically, I felt. Going up north put me in step with the world. There was something missing even though I am from Florida. Also, I was skinny until we moved. I felt things were still okay, but the truth was I was gaining weight and not improving in my piano studies. New Orleans is even more important than Florida in a way. Florida is still there. It taught me things personally. It's just different feelings you can't describe easily. Like, it's not about being a ghost on a beach but a real person behind a fence of flowers. Up north helped more than either 2, but I needed the grounding I had. Up north was like magic, literally. Like, world was always on the beat and positive about life and being alive if you are. I felt so much force around me. New Orleans was more pressure. There were complicated ideas. Like, I'd go to the gym, and it felt like a beat hype. It wasn't like hot. It was cool. The grocery store seemed like a factory or tree with different products to change you into something you want to be.. Walking outside with lamp posts and little quaint shops, some places with foods. I was in a college, too, with a conservatory of music. I even feel the need to go back. I have a need to be here, as well. Same as New Orleans. It's like a family. I fantasized up north while walking until it was too much for school and I got sent home. I even got "sick." I thought I was dying and imagining living demons around me. It wasn't painful like life and was more entertaining and emotional. I wanna act and make money so I can go to college and goof off. I do wanna do well. I just want money to buy toys, a house nearby..
I do miss New Orleans still. It is a smart place that works hard to make the world mean something.
~ * ~
Problem
Why are people like I know Ellen did this .. promoting people *******y that I'm never in the top eschelan anymore, like it's suggestive cuz it's Ellen, and I even see songs being made, threats on if I have kids that they will be messed up and I'll wish them dead. I don't wanna be with a boy, though, anytime soon, unless the world totally changed possibly.
Problem
So, on Ellen's side, they wanna practice shitting about my family. If no one helps me, the thoughts may not leave. Ellen might be in on it, she must admit..
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