Tuesday, June 3, 2014

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Website

Sayd (Sad)

Can you imagine all the fuss and hopes that human civilization has had and how it seems not to prevail longer?  All because my dad "couldn't 'do't.'"  (couldn't do it.)

Problem

You people are so mean to me, make me lose my thinking cuz you startled me by being so mean, and then you pretend to punish me and glow.

E-Mail

I was too late to withdraw because I have mental problems.  I took on an 18 hour load at home, and I didn't even make a D in any of the courses.  I was wondering if I could have a medical withdrawal.  My last college gave me some, if you need proof.  My name is Christina Ann Barrett, and my birthday is May 20, 1986.  I'm sorry I don't remember my VID#.

If you don't take the appeal, I know I can retake the classes for grade forgiveness, which I plan to, but what if my family and I move away?  I do plan to take the classes online.  If I moved away, how could I get grade forgiveness?  Could I take the class online as a special case or exception to the rule?  I know, I need to take these classes again, anyway, for my degree.  They are all General Studies courses.

I did work on these courses all semester, had some problems concentrating, but I almost got a D I feel in mostly all of them.  If I could just finish up where I didn't do well would be nice, as well, but my work might not be easy to access if you can at all.

Thanks!

Sincerely,
Christina Barrett

What I Think

It's weird suddenly my parents are involved in my life in a tacky way.  I see how they mean no harm.  I think I'm being laughed at.  My life is so slow.

***

or Problem!

I keep getting weird messages!

In the end..

..our trip to Disney World was not helped by Sarah Brightman.  It's not free reign territory.  My mom and I were stuck with a fantasy, so it's my mom's fault.

Problem

I got called a nigger by Ellen, again.

Problem

If Ellen thinks I need to be in a fetish for her to get some sleep or rest, what if we made her feel squeamish?  That's just not right!

Online Quiz by Me

Which Winnie-the-Pooh character are you? at HelloQuizzy

Online Quiz

Your result for The Deep and Meaningful Winnie-The-Pooh Character Test...

Tigger

And as they went, Tigger told Roo (who wanted to know) all about the things that Tiggers could do.
"Can they fly?" asked Roo.
"Yes," said Tigger, "they're very good flyers, Tiggers are. Strornry good flyers."
"Oo!" said Roo. "Can they fly as well as Owl?"
"Yes," said Tigger. "Only they don't want to."
"Why don't they want to?" well, they just don't like it somehow."
Roo couldn't understand this, because he thought it would be lovely to be able to fly, but Tigger said it was difficult to explain to anybody who wasn't a Tigger himself.






You scored as Tigger!
ABOUT TIGGER: Tigger is the newest addition to the Hundred Acre Wood, and he lives with Kanga and Roo, because Roo's strengthening medicine turned out to be the thing that Tiggers like best. Tigger is bouncy and confident -some of his friends think he is a little TOO bouncy and confident, but attempts to unbounce him tend to be fruitless.
WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: You are a positive and confident person. You feel capable of dealing with anything and everything, and funnily enough, you usually ARE. You don't worry about much, and you love to go out and find new adventures.
Your friends and family might sometimes be a little exasperated by your boundless enthusiasm. You don't like to admit your mistakes, and when you find yourself in over you head, you tend to bluff your way out of things. You would be surprised, however, at how happy the people around you would be if you would actually admit to a mistake. It would make you seem more human, somehow.


Take The Deep and Meaningful Winnie-The-Pooh Character Test at HelloQuizzy

They won't stop giving me stuff to post!

Ellen is doing it!

My parents were thinking about me being in trouble til Christmas when they have no right to, and my dad tackily put down a 2nd finger and it didn't look good.

Stop

Stop bothering me in between what I'm doing cuz you feel uncomfortable when you're the 1 with your head in my room.

Well

My dad came home nasty, as well, I feel, on the inside.

You all must be *beep* with a propensity to fight.

Problem

Yahoo! has ads at the bottom now, too.

Problem

I'm getting more secret messages of nastiness.

Let me just say you're taking my time.  You can't get mad at my mom.  I didn't do anything.  I will not listen to you.

***

Some people say others are supposed to be with the parent they like least in a certain way.  No, I'm a beached egg.

How I Feel About It

I don't want resepctable people such as Sarah Brightman putting a hand in my life and symbolizing things as petty as punishments in my personal life (which btw is not true.)

Problem

They're calling me not European.  You can't do this to me!  Do it to her instead!

They even said baby.

Problem

They just didn't let a post load about black people on my e-mail.  It's Ellen, again.

TV

We even have this: Swamp Murders @ 6PM EST.

Question

Why would I wanna sit here in this peculiar way and watch Bella get *** from Ellen?

Confession

Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
It has been a long time since my last confession,
And these are my sins:

Losing control and therefore acting like a maniac.
Will I ever be accepted as a gentle person?
Showered B)

Problem

Life online around 2007 was really nice, but I messed it up!  I didn't think about getting a blog until later.

Hollywood Actors

These people trying to get into the business as kids and having something in their career at 17 is an interesting method for setting the bar.

Sorry if I seem mean again..

..I just found fault.

STOP

You people can't show me affection like that.  Selfish criminals.

Problem

Ellen is challenging me, wanting to ruin something with a prissy attitude just because something upset me.  My mom made me fat, I told you, and probably schizo.  I cannot erase everything you don't like.  She's leaving it there like huh.  She wants to feel like she's never mean.

Apology

If you know I was mad at home.. online wasn't so bad.  I was just expressing how I felt about my life and how it's like ruined what I've accomplished in my past and feel it's unfair and a nuisance that mean people rise above.

Dangerous

It seems Miss Brightman knows what goes on in my life.

Problem

I'm getting problems.  I can't live like this!

Problem

The noises I hear are very freaky.

Apology

So, I was insanely mad, sorry for saying "bitch.."

Problem

They are getting involved in my life online..  and making people feel lifted.

A Good Time

It's always a good time!

I can still get in.  No one guided me before.  I know what Tim did.  Someone just made me mad, now.

Not Making It, Yet?

So, technically, Tim Burton ruined my time as a young adult when I could have built up to be someone in Hollywood, but I was too fat from being kicked outta college.  I'm 28.

Problem

Why are these people who are technically supposed to be watching me right now acting all ^pretty^ and expressive?  I am not here to watch this, are you?

Twitter

I told you guys to SHUT THE HELL UP @ me.  You just did it cuz you're mad and *beep* want me to say it?

Okay

So you want me to participate and praise Ellen making Bella officially it and rubbing in I'm bad?  Anyone jealous?  Anyone not care?  Why doesn't everyone get to feel like a good person?

Problem

The ticking noises are getting to me.

Problem

I'm sorry I was so crass.  I just need more freedom to think.

Problem

I've been telling them to stop all morning.  They make me down.  I don't feel like doing anything, which might be a good thing.

Problem

I am telling them to stop making the noises and messing with me but they aren't.  Get Ellen.

Problem

Wow, look at Ellen all comfortable taking away everything in my life if I try to escape this punishment?  I'm a nicer person than her.  My parents have made me ugly and miserable since I said "oh no" when my dad came home @ 11.  I'm gonna get them filed down.

Problem

My Gramma makes up fake stuff she thinks the whole world will stoop to.  As a fancy.

Problem

Stop telling me stuff like this experiment is for life.  I am gonna be an adult and I can't have this.

The Hope Line

0:47 AM
Coach: Thanks for chatting with us ... what is going on that we might help you with?
0:50 AM
Christina Barrett: Hi..
0:50 AM
Coach: Hello
0:50 AM
Coach: :)
0:50 AM
Coach: How can I help you tonight?
0:50 AM
Christina Barrett: I keep getting secret messages of punishment. I think it's Ellen DeGeneres talking to my parents..
0:50 AM
Christina Barrett: They revel in great pleasure when they do it.
0:50 AM
Christina Barrett: Like, I hit something, then they get super mad at me.
0:51 AM
Christina Barrett: They give me secret messages of threat.
0:51 AM
Christina Barrett: Like my Gramma wants me hurt.
0:52 AM
Christina Barrett: So, I closed the cupbourd loudly. They wondered what it was. I was mad that they wanted to hurt me and make me feel some perverted ecstasy. They wanna ruin my female parts.
0:52 AM
Coach: Okay, who is they?
0:52 AM
Christina Barrett: My Gramma and parents. You know Ellen, also it could be someone else if that sounds better to talk about.
0:53 AM
Coach: I see, you believe Ellen is going to hurt you?
0:53 AM
Christina Barrett: I just can't control my temper. If I hit something, like maybe someone will call me gay online or a poster I like will go away.
0:53 AM
Christina Barrett: No, my Gramma. When I visited, she made certain noises that disturbed me and pressed my cheekbone so hard when she kissed.
0:53 AM
Christina Barrett: I don't know cuz I do wanna see her.
0:54 AM
Christina Barrett: She even said, "washer" it seemed secretly when I saw her a few years ago. It seems like she wants to do me in.
0:54 AM
Christina Barrett: She won't literally hurt me but act mean around me unlike before..
0:54 AM
Christina Barrett: I didn't do anything to deserve that.
0:54 AM
Christina Barrett: Like they're testing me. They might do something really mean if I keep being upset. Sometimes, I restrain myself, sometimes is too much..
0:55 AM
Christina Barrett: I just close things harder and my parents are starting to pay attention.
0:55 AM
Christina Barrett: I never start it, though.
0:55 AM
Christina Barrett: I see a therapist. Perhaps, you can tel me what I can ask her next week..
0:55 AM
Christina Barrett: But what ticked me this time was thinking my Gramma'd like put me in a stupor or something.
0:56 AM
Christina Barrett: Because I was mad and didn't control my attitude.
0:56 AM
Coach: Okay, Christina, what does your Therapist tell you to do when these things happen?
0:56 AM
Christina Barrett: It's little things like this!
0:56 AM
Christina Barrett: She says no one is doing anything.
0:56 AM
Christina Barrett: So does my psychiatrist.
0:56 AM
Christina Barrett: I just need to control myself.
0:56 AM
Christina Barrett: I wanted to do a physical program but am too old and not in school so don't have anything to join.
0:56 AM
Christina Barrett: I know that would get me through with an excited disposition.
0:57 AM
Christina Barrett: The workouts alone just aren't the same and not like yoga!
0:57 AM
Christina Barrett: My therapist said I should leave the room if I'm upset. But my Gramma gets mad at me, too, if I can't control my anger and I start acting with an attitude.
0:58 AM
Christina Barrett: I was just talking with my mom and feel burned out, unfortunately, and have plans for this week.
0:59 AM
Christina Barrett: Because also when I'm upset, my parents notice and try to get me more upset. That just makes me upset.
0:59 AM
Christina Barrett: Then I still go around with an attitude and am a bit louder. The goal is for me to stop they think, without them stopping being mean. It's getting worse from them, even if I'm better.
1:00 AM
Coach: Christina do you have anyone around you now?
1:01 AM
Christina Barrett: Yes, my parents are sleeping I bet. My mom was gonna stay up but went to bed. My aunt is in another city but likely asleep. I have people I know online I am talking to now kinda..IMDb, they know me in a way.
1:02 AM
Christina Barrett: My mom was just talking to me for like 1/2 hour.. so.
1:02 AM
Christina Barrett: Then my dad said it was waking him up, just wants to go to bed.
1:02 AM
Christina Barrett: So, I'm in my room with some water..
1:02 AM
Christina Barrett: I'm 28.
1:02 AM
Christina Barrett: I was told to go home from college for a break.
1:04 AM
Christina Barrett: A nice guy is talking to me on IMDb and I asked for emotional help.
1:04 AM
Coach: What were you studying? :)
1:04 AM
Christina Barrett: Music Education
1:04 AM
Christina Barrett: I was also interested in Music Performance.
1:05 AM
Christina Barrett: I was in 5 instruments.
1:05 AM
Christina Barrett: Piano, Organ, Voice. Class Violin. Band Bells.
1:05 AM
Christina Barrett: I am at a loss for what to study.
1:05 AM
Christina Barrett: I was thinking the same thing but was kicked out at Loyola from it for being shy.
1:06 AM
Christina Barrett: We moved, though, so I can do it here.
1:06 AM
Christina Barrett: I wanted to be a movie actress or work with film, though.
1:06 AM
Christina Barrett: I wouldn't mind Animation.
1:06 AM
Coach: You seem like you can express yourself very well.
1:06 AM
Christina Barrett: Thanks. I'm a Romantic type.
1:06 AM
Coach: Are you having any problems sleeping now Christina?
1:06 AM
Christina Barrett: I've studied personalities since I was about 12.
1:07 AM
Christina Barrett: Well, I want to stay up and post online.. I wrote about my troubles on my blog..
1:07 AM
Christina Barrett: http://christinaannjbarrett.blogspot.com
1:07 AM
Christina Barrett: Just how I felt about how things basically were going once I calmed down, which was pretty immediate.
1:07 AM
Coach: Oh, that is cool!
1:07 AM
Christina Barrett: Thanks! =]
1:07 AM
Christina Barrett: I'm volunteering soon.
1:07 AM
Christina Barrett: Then working.
1:08 AM
Christina Barrett: My mom thinks my therapist should help me with my life becoming more structured, like ideas like she has, to work.
1:08 AM
Christina Barrett: I did want to.
1:08 AM
Coach: What do you volunteer with?
1:08 AM
Christina Barrett: Applied before.
1:08 AM
Christina Barrett: The kennel, the SPCA, which just changed to Pet Alliance so no one thinks they are the ASPCA.
1:09 AM
Christina Barrett: I want to do Education and Coaching dogs.
1:09 AM
Christina Barrett: 2 months, 2 days a week, 2 hours a day.
1:09 AM
Coach: Oh, so you have a love for animals as well?
1:09 AM
Christina Barrett: I have a disability van drive me.
1:09 AM
Christina Barrett: Well, I love like books on wild animals, like the book White Fang.
1:10 AM
Christina Barrett: The Call of the Wild became more popular.
1:10 AM
Christina Barrett: and the TV show Lobo my aunt showed us.
1:10 AM
Christina Barrett: I have a Beta fish but don't really want it.. I was gonna get sea monkeys..
1:10 AM
Christina Barrett: I wanna clean my room in case I see another dog I like.
1:11 AM
Christina Barrett: It had short white hair and triangular ears and was like a hot dog that wasn't as long..
1:11 AM
Christina Barrett: There were many dogs like it but only 1 with white hair.
1:11 AM
Christina Barrett: Instead, I got a small hamster I returned-
1:11 AM
Christina Barrett: I thought it'd be fun to have lots of fish. Only problem I wanna be an actress and would leave the fish behind I guess. Which we can take somewhere.
1:12 AM
Christina Barrett: I had a hamster with a hurt closed eye end of hig hschool.
1:12 AM
Christina Barrett: I trained with my brother's golden..
1:12 AM
Coach: So Christina what would you say your main area of distress is for chatting in tonight?
1:13 AM
Christina Barrett: I was gonna chat earlier. I just keep feeling people are mad at me.
1:13 AM
Coach: Okay, I understand:)
1:13 AM
Christina Barrett: It makes me lose my temper, when I predict it should not. just gotta keep trying.
1:14 AM
Christina Barrett: I am careful not to be dangerous.
1:14 AM
Coach: So the main reason is feeling like people are mad at you and you lose your temper?
1:14 AM
Christina Barrett: I won't do anything.. I can take it out other ways. ... Yes.
1:14 AM
Christina Barrett: I just feel most mad when people pick at me for little things..
1:14 AM
Coach: Okay, can I say that God loves you Christina and he is not mad at you.
1:15 AM
Christina Barrett: God loves everyone! Thank you for reminding me of the Lord!
1:15 AM
Christina Barrett: I had another issue..
1:15 AM
Coach: Sure
1:15 AM
Christina Barrett: I think it upset my mom. I said "oh no" just playing around when my dad came home. I was 11. Then, my life eventually changed. I got fatter. I told my mom.
1:16 AM
Christina Barrett: She denied it, of course.
1:16 AM
Christina Barrett: She said to stop and I stopped.
1:16 AM
Coach: Could you explain this to me further?
1:17 AM
Christina Barrett: My dad would come home, and I said "oh no" for different reasons, like I felt like I wanted to be left alone. It was specifically because I wanted more time with him, and I said it cuz my homework was still not done. I had been working on it enough. No free time. Just 1 hour of TV. Nothing else. Choir once a week, Piano to practice..
1:18 AM
Christina Barrett: ..my dad never said anything.
1:18 AM
Christina Barrett: Still, not okay.
1:18 AM
Coach: Your father is not okay or you?
1:18 AM
Christina Barrett: My father..
1:18 AM
Christina Barrett: Well, he doesn't admit it.
1:19 AM
Christina Barrett: I told my mom that tonight.
1:19 AM
Christina Barrett: Then I got fat.
1:19 AM
Christina Barrett: My mom wouldn't walk with me.
1:19 AM
Coach: Okay, I see
1:19 AM
Christina Barrett: She denies I was even fatter in a bad way which seemed bound to happen, though I wish my life were easier then.
1:20 AM
Coach: What made your life hard Christina?
1:21 AM
Christina Barrett: Um..
1:21 AM
Christina Barrett: I was up late doing homework when we moved.
1:22 AM
Christina Barrett: The schoolwork became more difficult.
1:22 AM
Christina Barrett: We were piled with weird busywork while they wasted time in class talking. This is the New Orleans area.
1:22 AM
Christina Barrett: I stayed up til 1 every day or later.
1:22 AM
Coach: in the morning?
1:22 AM
Christina Barrett: yes
1:23 AM
Christina Barrett: I shoulda done something. Sports would make me healthier.
1:23 AM
Coach: I see, are you still not where you want to be physically?
1:23 AM
Christina Barrett: Maybe even public school would be better.
1:23 AM
Christina Barrett: Yes.
1:23 AM
Christina Barrett: I'm not where I want to be physically.
1:24 AM
Coach: Can you and your mother or someone you feel safe with go for walks now?
1:24 AM
Christina Barrett: Oh, yes.
1:24 AM
Christina Barrett: I jog, but it's nothing like school sports and teen dancing.
1:25 AM
Coach: I understand, Christina can I share what the Lord has to say about what you are going through?
1:26 AM
Christina Barrett: Yes!
1:29 AM
Coach: Great, there is a scripture in the Bible in Ephesians 4:26 that tells us to be angry but sin not. What that means is that anger is natural and it may alert us that something is wrong. However, the sin part is when we act on it in negative ways instead of confronting and communicating it to the person we may be angry at. Does that make sense? :)
1:30 AM
Christina Barrett: Yes.. I am confronting that person now.
1:30 AM
Christina Barrett: That makes sense, though.
1:31 AM
Coach: Good I am glad Christina :)
1:31 AM
Christina Barrett: I feel it's also cuz my dad is born in 1950.. he's not a cute young guy.
1:31 AM
Christina Barrett: He is cute.
1:31 AM
Christina Barrett: People judge me cuz he's not like Clint Eastwood with a 6 pack.
1:32 AM
Coach: God cares about what angers you, and desires that you tell him your cares. communication is important with your counselor, and therapist, parents and the Lord.
1:32 AM
Christina Barrett: Oh, yea, I'm an adult and will speak up as any 28-year-old ever did.
1:32 AM
Christina Barrett: I was very quiet growing up.
1:32 AM
Christina Barrett: I'm me, not my parents.
1:34 AM
Coach: Yes you are and God has made you unique and individual.
1:36 AM
Christina Barrett: I feel that people with younger parents who are younger are more privileged, their fingers don't look like potatos, and their nails are divine, like anything matters, cuz no one will leave me alone and let me calm down for good.
1:37 AM
Coach: Okay
1:38 AM
Christina Barrett: Why is it a big thing that people born in 1960 are anything at all and I'm connected to my dork dad?
1:38 AM
Christina Barrett: They said my parental generation is from the 40s..
1:38 AM
Christina Barrett: It's not! More like the 50s.
1:39 AM
Coach: It seems like you place a lot of value on your parents age and appearance, can I ask what is your reason for this focus?
1:40 AM
Christina Barrett: Because I was more attractive and people started to literally get jealous and say well my parents seem to please you so I'm better.
1:40 AM
Christina Barrett: My mom is Chinese-Indonesian, and my dad is obese.
1:40 AM
Christina Barrett: Also, he's older than my mom, born 1950, my mom doesn't like me to tell her age.
1:41 AM
Coach: I see
1:41 AM
Christina Barrett: I told my dad to exercise.
1:41 AM
Christina Barrett: I'm worried @ him not challenging himself.
1:41 AM
Christina Barrett: Maybe will get him a DVD someday.
1:41 AM
Christina Barrett: My dad isn't very fat but has a big tummy and double chin.
1:41 AM
Coach: Have you considered walking together?
1:41 AM
Christina Barrett: Yes.
1:42 AM
Coach: Have you actually done this :)?
1:42 AM
Christina Barrett: A long time ago. Just talked @ it today.
1:42 AM
Christina Barrett: Or last night.
1:43 AM
Coach: Okay, this maybe something you can do together. Christina I have a resource that may be helpful to you, would you be interested?
1:44 AM
Christina Barrett: yes
1:45 AM
Coach: Great, You can speak with a professional counselor at Focus on the Family by calling 855.771.4357
1:46 AM
Christina Barrett: ok thanks!
1:46 AM
Coach: This can be an additional resource to the counseling you already receive.
1:46 AM
Coach: You are very welcome Christina :)
1:46 AM
Christina Barrett: ok good idea thanks!
1:46 AM
Christina Barrett: =]
1:46 AM
Coach: Awesome :)
1:46 AM
Christina Barrett: is that probably it then?
1:47 AM
Christina Barrett: if I get upset I can come back again on my own
1:47 AM
Coach: Can I pray with you if there is nothing else you need help with tonight?
1:47 AM
Christina Barrett: ok
1:47 AM
Coach: Yes you can:)
1:48 AM
Coach: Thanks Christina, Lord I pray for Christina I thank you that you have made her unique and beautiful in your image, I pray that you give her peace even tonight and help her with the anger, in Jesus name I pray, Amen!
1:48 AM
Christina Barrett: Amen! +
1:48 AM
Christina Barrett: Okay, bye! =] So nice to meet you. You are very kind.
1:49 AM
Coach: Nice talking with you too Christina :)
1:49 AM
Coach: Have a wonderful night
1:49 AM
Christina Barrett: Thanks! =]
1:49 AM
Christina Barrett: You too!
1:49 AM
Coach: You are welcome :)