0:47 AM
Coach: Thanks for chatting with us ... what is going on that we might help you with?
0:50 AM
Christina Barrett: Hi..
0:50 AM
Coach: Hello
0:50 AM
Coach: :)
0:50 AM
Coach: How can I help you tonight?
0:50 AM
Christina Barrett: I keep getting secret messages of punishment. I think it's Ellen DeGeneres talking to my parents..
0:50 AM
Christina Barrett: They revel in great pleasure when they do it.
0:50 AM
Christina Barrett: Like, I hit something, then they get super mad at me.
0:51 AM
Christina Barrett: They give me secret messages of threat.
0:51 AM
Christina Barrett: Like my Gramma wants me hurt.
0:52 AM
Christina Barrett: So, I closed the cupbourd loudly. They wondered what it was. I was mad that they wanted to hurt me and make me feel some perverted ecstasy. They wanna ruin my female parts.
0:52 AM
Coach: Okay, who is they?
0:52 AM
Christina Barrett: My Gramma and parents. You know Ellen, also it could be someone else if that sounds better to talk about.
0:53 AM
Coach: I see, you believe Ellen is going to hurt you?
0:53 AM
Christina Barrett: I just can't control my temper. If I hit something, like maybe someone will call me gay online or a poster I like will go away.
0:53 AM
Christina Barrett: No, my Gramma. When I visited, she made certain noises that disturbed me and pressed my cheekbone so hard when she kissed.
0:53 AM
Christina Barrett: I don't know cuz I do wanna see her.
0:54 AM
Christina Barrett: She even said, "washer" it seemed secretly when I saw her a few years ago. It seems like she wants to do me in.
0:54 AM
Christina Barrett: She won't literally hurt me but act mean around me unlike before..
0:54 AM
Christina Barrett: I didn't do anything to deserve that.
0:54 AM
Christina Barrett: Like they're testing me. They might do something really mean if I keep being upset. Sometimes, I restrain myself, sometimes is too much..
0:55 AM
Christina Barrett: I just close things harder and my parents are starting to pay attention.
0:55 AM
Christina Barrett: I never start it, though.
0:55 AM
Christina Barrett: I see a therapist. Perhaps, you can tel me what I can ask her next week..
0:55 AM
Christina Barrett: But what ticked me this time was thinking my Gramma'd like put me in a stupor or something.
0:56 AM
Christina Barrett: Because I was mad and didn't control my attitude.
0:56 AM
Coach: Okay, Christina, what does your Therapist tell you to do when these things happen?
0:56 AM
Christina Barrett: It's little things like this!
0:56 AM
Christina Barrett: She says no one is doing anything.
0:56 AM
Christina Barrett: So does my psychiatrist.
0:56 AM
Christina Barrett: I just need to control myself.
0:56 AM
Christina Barrett: I wanted to do a physical program but am too old and not in school so don't have anything to join.
0:56 AM
Christina Barrett: I know that would get me through with an excited disposition.
0:57 AM
Christina Barrett: The workouts alone just aren't the same and not like yoga!
0:57 AM
Christina Barrett: My therapist said I should leave the room if I'm upset. But my Gramma gets mad at me, too, if I can't control my anger and I start acting with an attitude.
0:58 AM
Christina Barrett: I was just talking with my mom and feel burned out, unfortunately, and have plans for this week.
0:59 AM
Christina Barrett: Because also when I'm upset, my parents notice and try to get me more upset. That just makes me upset.
0:59 AM
Christina Barrett: Then I still go around with an attitude and am a bit louder. The goal is for me to stop they think, without them stopping being mean. It's getting worse from them, even if I'm better.
1:00 AM
Coach: Christina do you have anyone around you now?
1:01 AM
Christina Barrett: Yes, my parents are sleeping I bet. My mom was gonna stay up but went to bed. My aunt is in another city but likely asleep. I have people I know online I am talking to now kinda..IMDb, they know me in a way.
1:02 AM
Christina Barrett: My mom was just talking to me for like 1/2 hour.. so.
1:02 AM
Christina Barrett: Then my dad said it was waking him up, just wants to go to bed.
1:02 AM
Christina Barrett: So, I'm in my room with some water..
1:02 AM
Christina Barrett: I'm 28.
1:02 AM
Christina Barrett: I was told to go home from college for a break.
1:04 AM
Christina Barrett: A nice guy is talking to me on IMDb and I asked for emotional help.
1:04 AM
Coach: What were you studying? :)
1:04 AM
Christina Barrett: Music Education
1:04 AM
Christina Barrett: I was also interested in Music Performance.
1:05 AM
Christina Barrett: I was in 5 instruments.
1:05 AM
Christina Barrett: Piano, Organ, Voice. Class Violin. Band Bells.
1:05 AM
Christina Barrett: I am at a loss for what to study.
1:05 AM
Christina Barrett: I was thinking the same thing but was kicked out at Loyola from it for being shy.
1:06 AM
Christina Barrett: We moved, though, so I can do it here.
1:06 AM
Christina Barrett: I wanted to be a movie actress or work with film, though.
1:06 AM
Christina Barrett: I wouldn't mind Animation.
1:06 AM
Coach: You seem like you can express yourself very well.
1:06 AM
Christina Barrett: Thanks. I'm a Romantic type.
1:06 AM
Coach: Are you having any problems sleeping now Christina?
1:06 AM
Christina Barrett: I've studied personalities since I was about 12.
1:07 AM
Christina Barrett: Well, I want to stay up and post online.. I wrote about my troubles on my blog..
1:07 AM
Christina Barrett: http://christinaannjbarrett.blogspot.com
1:07 AM
Christina Barrett: Just how I felt about how things basically were going once I calmed down, which was pretty immediate.
1:07 AM
Coach: Oh, that is cool!
1:07 AM
Christina Barrett: Thanks! =]
1:07 AM
Christina Barrett: I'm volunteering soon.
1:07 AM
Christina Barrett: Then working.
1:08 AM
Christina Barrett: My mom thinks my therapist should help me with my life becoming more structured, like ideas like she has, to work.
1:08 AM
Christina Barrett: I did want to.
1:08 AM
Coach: What do you volunteer with?
1:08 AM
Christina Barrett: Applied before.
1:08 AM
Christina Barrett: The kennel, the SPCA, which just changed to Pet Alliance so no one thinks they are the ASPCA.
1:09 AM
Christina Barrett: I want to do Education and Coaching dogs.
1:09 AM
Christina Barrett: 2 months, 2 days a week, 2 hours a day.
1:09 AM
Coach: Oh, so you have a love for animals as well?
1:09 AM
Christina Barrett: I have a disability van drive me.
1:09 AM
Christina Barrett: Well, I love like books on wild animals, like the book White Fang.
1:10 AM
Christina Barrett: The Call of the Wild became more popular.
1:10 AM
Christina Barrett: and the TV show Lobo my aunt showed us.
1:10 AM
Christina Barrett: I have a Beta fish but don't really want it.. I was gonna get sea monkeys..
1:10 AM
Christina Barrett: I wanna clean my room in case I see another dog I like.
1:11 AM
Christina Barrett: It had short white hair and triangular ears and was like a hot dog that wasn't as long..
1:11 AM
Christina Barrett: There were many dogs like it but only 1 with white hair.
1:11 AM
Christina Barrett: Instead, I got a small hamster I returned-
1:11 AM
Christina Barrett: I thought it'd be fun to have lots of fish. Only problem I wanna be an actress and would leave the fish behind I guess. Which we can take somewhere.
1:12 AM
Christina Barrett: I had a hamster with a hurt closed eye end of hig hschool.
1:12 AM
Christina Barrett: I trained with my brother's golden..
1:12 AM
Coach: So Christina what would you say your main area of distress is for chatting in tonight?
1:13 AM
Christina Barrett: I was gonna chat earlier. I just keep feeling people are mad at me.
1:13 AM
Coach: Okay, I understand:)
1:13 AM
Christina Barrett: It makes me lose my temper, when I predict it should not. just gotta keep trying.
1:14 AM
Christina Barrett: I am careful not to be dangerous.
1:14 AM
Coach: So the main reason is feeling like people are mad at you and you lose your temper?
1:14 AM
Christina Barrett: I won't do anything.. I can take it out other ways. ... Yes.
1:14 AM
Christina Barrett: I just feel most mad when people pick at me for little things..
1:14 AM
Coach: Okay, can I say that God loves you Christina and he is not mad at you.
1:15 AM
Christina Barrett: God loves everyone! Thank you for reminding me of the Lord!
1:15 AM
Christina Barrett: I had another issue..
1:15 AM
Coach: Sure
1:15 AM
Christina Barrett: I think it upset my mom. I said "oh no" just playing around when my dad came home. I was 11. Then, my life eventually changed. I got fatter. I told my mom.
1:16 AM
Christina Barrett: She denied it, of course.
1:16 AM
Christina Barrett: She said to stop and I stopped.
1:16 AM
Coach: Could you explain this to me further?
1:17 AM
Christina Barrett: My dad would come home, and I said "oh no" for different reasons, like I felt like I wanted to be left alone. It was specifically because I wanted more time with him, and I said it cuz my homework was still not done. I had been working on it enough. No free time. Just 1 hour of TV. Nothing else. Choir once a week, Piano to practice..
1:18 AM
Christina Barrett: ..my dad never said anything.
1:18 AM
Christina Barrett: Still, not okay.
1:18 AM
Coach: Your father is not okay or you?
1:18 AM
Christina Barrett: My father..
1:18 AM
Christina Barrett: Well, he doesn't admit it.
1:19 AM
Christina Barrett: I told my mom that tonight.
1:19 AM
Christina Barrett: Then I got fat.
1:19 AM
Christina Barrett: My mom wouldn't walk with me.
1:19 AM
Coach: Okay, I see
1:19 AM
Christina Barrett: She denies I was even fatter in a bad way which seemed bound to happen, though I wish my life were easier then.
1:20 AM
Coach: What made your life hard Christina?
1:21 AM
Christina Barrett: Um..
1:21 AM
Christina Barrett: I was up late doing homework when we moved.
1:22 AM
Christina Barrett: The schoolwork became more difficult.
1:22 AM
Christina Barrett: We were piled with weird busywork while they wasted time in class talking. This is the New Orleans area.
1:22 AM
Christina Barrett: I stayed up til 1 every day or later.
1:22 AM
Coach: in the morning?
1:22 AM
Christina Barrett: yes
1:23 AM
Christina Barrett: I shoulda done something. Sports would make me healthier.
1:23 AM
Coach: I see, are you still not where you want to be physically?
1:23 AM
Christina Barrett: Maybe even public school would be better.
1:23 AM
Christina Barrett: Yes.
1:23 AM
Christina Barrett: I'm not where I want to be physically.
1:24 AM
Coach: Can you and your mother or someone you feel safe with go for walks now?
1:24 AM
Christina Barrett: Oh, yes.
1:24 AM
Christina Barrett: I jog, but it's nothing like school sports and teen dancing.
1:25 AM
Coach: I understand, Christina can I share what the Lord has to say about what you are going through?
1:26 AM
Christina Barrett: Yes!
1:29 AM
Coach: Great, there is a scripture in the Bible in Ephesians 4:26 that tells us to be angry but sin not. What that means is that anger is natural and it may alert us that something is wrong. However, the sin part is when we act on it in negative ways instead of confronting and communicating it to the person we may be angry at. Does that make sense? :)
1:30 AM
Christina Barrett: Yes.. I am confronting that person now.
1:30 AM
Christina Barrett: That makes sense, though.
1:31 AM
Coach: Good I am glad Christina :)
1:31 AM
Christina Barrett: I feel it's also cuz my dad is born in 1950.. he's not a cute young guy.
1:31 AM
Christina Barrett: He is cute.
1:31 AM
Christina Barrett: People judge me cuz he's not like Clint Eastwood with a 6 pack.
1:32 AM
Coach: God cares about what angers you, and desires that you tell him your cares. communication is important with your counselor, and therapist, parents and the Lord.
1:32 AM
Christina Barrett: Oh, yea, I'm an adult and will speak up as any 28-year-old ever did.
1:32 AM
Christina Barrett: I was very quiet growing up.
1:32 AM
Christina Barrett: I'm me, not my parents.
1:34 AM
Coach: Yes you are and God has made you unique and individual.
1:36 AM
Christina Barrett: I feel that people with younger parents who are younger are more privileged, their fingers don't look like potatos, and their nails are divine, like anything matters, cuz no one will leave me alone and let me calm down for good.
1:37 AM
Coach: Okay
1:38 AM
Christina Barrett: Why is it a big thing that people born in 1960 are anything at all and I'm connected to my dork dad?
1:38 AM
Christina Barrett: They said my parental generation is from the 40s..
1:38 AM
Christina Barrett: It's not! More like the 50s.
1:39 AM
Coach: It seems like you place a lot of value on your parents age and appearance, can I ask what is your reason for this focus?
1:40 AM
Christina Barrett: Because I was more attractive and people started to literally get jealous and say well my parents seem to please you so I'm better.
1:40 AM
Christina Barrett: My mom is Chinese-Indonesian, and my dad is obese.
1:40 AM
Christina Barrett: Also, he's older than my mom, born 1950, my mom doesn't like me to tell her age.
1:41 AM
Coach: I see
1:41 AM
Christina Barrett: I told my dad to exercise.
1:41 AM
Christina Barrett: I'm worried @ him not challenging himself.
1:41 AM
Christina Barrett: Maybe will get him a DVD someday.
1:41 AM
Christina Barrett: My dad isn't very fat but has a big tummy and double chin.
1:41 AM
Coach: Have you considered walking together?
1:41 AM
Christina Barrett: Yes.
1:42 AM
Coach: Have you actually done this :)?
1:42 AM
Christina Barrett: A long time ago. Just talked @ it today.
1:42 AM
Christina Barrett: Or last night.
1:43 AM
Coach: Okay, this maybe something you can do together. Christina I have a resource that may be helpful to you, would you be interested?
1:44 AM
Christina Barrett: yes
1:45 AM
Coach: Great, You can speak with a professional counselor at Focus on the Family by calling 855.771.4357
1:46 AM
Christina Barrett: ok thanks!
1:46 AM
Coach: This can be an additional resource to the counseling you already receive.
1:46 AM
Coach: You are very welcome Christina :)
1:46 AM
Christina Barrett: ok good idea thanks!
1:46 AM
Christina Barrett: =]
1:46 AM
Coach: Awesome :)
1:46 AM
Christina Barrett: is that probably it then?
1:47 AM
Christina Barrett: if I get upset I can come back again on my own
1:47 AM
Coach: Can I pray with you if there is nothing else you need help with tonight?
1:47 AM
Christina Barrett: ok
1:47 AM
Coach: Yes you can:)
1:48 AM
Coach: Thanks Christina, Lord I pray for Christina I thank you that you have made her unique and beautiful in your image, I pray that you give her peace even tonight and help her with the anger, in Jesus name I pray, Amen!
1:48 AM
Christina Barrett: Amen! +
1:48 AM
Christina Barrett: Okay, bye! =] So nice to meet you. You are very kind.
1:49 AM
Coach: Nice talking with you too Christina :)
1:49 AM
Coach: Have a wonderful night
1:49 AM
Christina Barrett: Thanks! =]
1:49 AM
Christina Barrett: You too!
1:49 AM
Coach: You are welcome :)
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